Goatee
by futureauthor13
Summary: Oneshot about when Megamind first decided to add a goatee to his 'evil villain look'. After all, what's a villain without a goatee? Much better than the summary makes it sound, I promise. Please R&R.


**I'm not sure where this came from, but I decided to write it just because if I didn't, it would just keep bugging me. I just needed to write it. I hope it's good. I'm a girl, so I don't really know much about beards. That, and I don't have a lot of experience writing Megamind pre-movie unless he's a little kid. But I think this turned out pretty good. Please review, and enjoy :)**

Minion hadn't really noticed it since he saw his master every day, and it wasn't that thick. But after spending three and a half weeks in prison, Minion _definitely _noticed it.

It was just after the two villains had executed plan 43B, which involved mashed potato explosives, a few smoke bombs, and a few brainbots, plus the invisible car of course. The plan went off without any problems, and within a few minutes, Megamind was free and heading down the highway at eighty miles per hour.

"Nice escape plan, Sir," commented Minion as he expertly drove the car.

"As always," said Megamind, smiling. Minion was about to reply when he noticed his master's face. His chin was covered in shiny black hair, and it was starting to get thick.

"Um, Sir?"

"What?" said Megamind, "Oh, you've noticed my new beard?" He then began stroaking it, and Minion had to resist rolling his eyes. How can you not notice it, he thought.

"Yes, I did," replied Minion, "I didn't know you wanted to grow a beard, Sir."

"Well, why not?" said Megamind, "after all, what's more manly than a beard?"

"If you say so, Sir," said Minion as he sharply turned a corner.

In the next few weeks, Megamind had designed, built, and used what he called a 'Spe-ider Bot' in his latest evil plan. It was a simple plan, but it worked. But like all his other plans, the Spe-ider bot was shut down by Metro Man, and the blue inventor himself was taken to jail.

"Now, maybe this time you'll actually stay in jail," said the Warden before slamming the door to Megamind's cell.

"Yes, and maybe then I'll become a good guy," Megamind retorted before he laughed at such a ridiculous idea. The Warden mumbled something and then walked away from the cell.

A few hours later, it was supper time, and Megamind was allowed to go to the prison cafeteria to eat with his fellow prisoners, who were just as happy to see him as he was to see them.

"Hey Blue!" shouted one of his uncles, gesturing him to come sit at the same table. Megamind smiled and walked over to the table.

"Ollo Uncle 5201," said Megamind.

"Hey kid," said Uncle 3347, "you thinkin' of becomin' a lumberjack or somethin'?"

"What do you mean?" asked Megamind, confused at the question. He hadn't showed any interest in a wood chopping career, he hadn't even held an ax before.

"He means the beard, Blue," explained Uncle 7701.

"Oh," said Megamind. He looked down at his food. He wanted the beard to make him look tough, to make him look bad. Not to make him look like a lumberjack!

"Hey, leave the kid alone," said Uncle 5201, "He can grow a beard if he wants, right Blue?"

"Uh, right Uncle," said Megamind. He decided it was time to change the subject. "So, did I miss any good fights?"

As Megamind listened to the latest news around the prison, he couldn't help but notice that no one else in the prison had a beard quite like his.

()()()()()()()()

"So Ms. Ritchi, I can see you're in a sticky situation."

"Oh please tell me you're not going to use a bunch of puns today," said Roxanne, not impressed with her kidnapper's latest plan.

The young reporter was currently hanging above a pool filled with boiling tree sap, and right above her was a gravity ray, guarenteed to increase the gravity on someone by six. Perfect to shoot at a flying superhero to make him heavy enough to land in the boiling sap.

"Clearly you don't appreciate the effort it takes to come up with great puns, Ms. Ritchi," said Megamind.

"It took Sir three days to come up with a good enough pun to use on you Ms. Ritchi," said Minion, trying to help out his master, but ended up just getting a glare in return.

"Don't you usually save the puns for your banters with Metro Man?" asked Roxanne.

"I felt a little generous today," Megamind replied with a smile, "and so you could appreciate my brilliant, pun-making abilities."

"Oh brother," mumbled Roxanne, rolling her eyes at the blue 'villain'. "Well, it's hard to appreciate your 'brilliance' when I keep feeling like you should be wearing a flannel shirt. Seriously, you should really think about shaving sometime."

Megamind glared at her, a genuine glare that actually frightened Roxanne just a little. "Okay, that's it!" Megamind pulled a lever, and the rope holding Roxanne lowered just as the floor covered the pool of sap. Roxanne gave the villain a confused look.

"Minion, take Ms. Ritchi home," Megamind ordered as he walked away.

"Um, yes Sir," said Minion. The fish walked over to Roxanne, who was giving him a confused look as well. The fish could only offer the shrug of his robotic, furry shoulders as an answer, before spraying the reporter into unconsciousness.

When Minion returned from Roxanne's apartment, he saw his master over by the full size mirror. He was looking at his reflection, specifically his face.

"Sir?"

"Minion, what do you think of my beard?" Megamind asked, turning away from the mirror.

Minion lowered in his dome a little. "Um, well Sir, it's... um."

"It's ridiculous, isn't it," said Megamind, giving a small pout.

"Not quite ridiculous Sir," said Minion, "it's just not really, you. Why did you even want a beard, Sir?"

"Because Minion," said Megamind, "I wanted to look bad! I wanted to look tough, not like a lumberjack!" Megamind paused for a moment. "That and, I remember that my father had a beard."

"Well Sir," said Minion, "you can still have a beard if you really want one. But maybe you can make it not quite as thick, and maybe style it a bit."

"You can style beards?" Megamind asked, "huh. I didn't know that."

After a little more coaxing from Minion, Megamind sent the brainbots out to pick up a razor and some shaving cream. When they returned, Megamind sat down in a chair in front of the mirror. He was about to start shaving when he stopped and realized he had no idea what he was doing.

"Maybe you should do this Minion," said Megamind.

"Me Sir?"

"Yes," said Megamind, "after all, you probably know more about 'stil-le-ying' than me."

"Well, okay," said Minion, "but you won't get mad if I mess up, will you?"

"Eh, I can always build a hair growing ray so you can start all over if you do mess up," said Megamind, "actually, that isn't a bad invention idea. Make a note of that Minion."

"Yes Sir," he replied, already writing it down. Once he was done with that, he started shaving. Despite the thickness of the beard, it only took about ten minutes to shave most of it off. Once he was done, Minion stepped back. "Well Sir, what do you think?"

Megamind looked in the mirror, his face completely neutral. Minion was about to repeat the question when he saw a smile grow on Megamind's face. "Minion, you fantastic fish you! It's perfect!"

While Minion had shaved off most of the beard, he had left a little of it in the middle of Megamind's chin. He had made the beard into a goatee.

"Everyone knows that true evil villains have goatees!" said Megamind as he continued looking in the mirror.

Minion couldn't help but smile. "Of course Sir." Megamind was so happy with his new 'evil' look, he kidnapped Roxanne the very next day just so he could show her.

"I'm sorry our last plan was cut short, Ms. Ritchi," Megamind said as he stood in front of Roxanne, who was tied up in her usual chair, "but I can assure you, it won't happen again."

"How unfortunate," replied Roxanne. She then looked a little more closely at the blue alien.

"Noticing something?" Megamind replied, smiling ear to ear.

"I have to admit, the goatee actually works." While Megamind was calm on the outside, inside he was practically soaring.

"You think so?"

"Yeah, it's less ridiculous than the beard. That's one thing it's got going for it."

Megamind gave a small pout, but then returned to 'evil supervillain' mode. "Well Ms. Ritchi, perhaps you should watch your words. You are in grave danger after all."

Roxanne gave him a 'yeah right' look. She may've been hanging above a tank full of sharks, but she figured out a long time ago that he would never hurt her. But as she watched the villain, she had to admit to herself, the goatee definitely suited him. At least more than the beard.

**Please review :)**


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